Almost everyone loves to be social, but sometimes it’s best to have a private party.

Since this is a special issue, I wanted to share my special practices for social networking. These are skills I fine tuned over scotch and cigars before the Internets existed. And, yes I am that old.

The social media gurus everywhere are offering brands advice what works online as they attempt to connect with customers and users. My tips cover much of the same ground but focus more on face-to-face interaction. I’ll admit, these are really just examples of bad behavior I’ve seen at the glut of conferences I’ve recently attended. It seems that each tradeshow or event has so many tales of drunkenness and debauchery. Frankly, I prefer a less sophomoric approach to business.

Engage
In social media marketing the drive to engage is all the rage. I encourage that desire for engagement with colleagues and peers at conferences. Get out there. Go to the parties. Pass out your business cards. Have a good time. I certainly don’t want you to attend a conference and act like a wallflower. But don’t show up at one of the year’s biggest events for your industry and party like you’re in college again. It’s not spring break 1992.

Just because you’re from small town America and the bulk of your time is spent working from home alone and you’re finally away from your kids for three days and you’re in a major metropolitan city and you’re among people you’ve “known” for years from online communities and forums – is not an excuse to overindulge and make an ass of yourself.

It scares me to think that most of you are parents and shaping the minds of tomorrow’s leaders. It also frightens me to think of what you were like in college.

Join the Conversation
It’s great to use conferences to form bonds with peers by making a personal connection but I’m not interested in knowing the nitty gritty details about your sex life. Seriously, at least a half dozen people over the last year have shared details about their vasectomies or details about procedures involving their lady parts.

I’m delighted to talk about your kids, travel, the weather, art, and movies – even politics -but when it comes to your private areas – keep that private.

Manage Your Reputation
Don’t kid yourself, what others in the industry say about you matters. This isn’t high school but it’s pretty close to it and many of you have a “rep”. If you share privileged information with one person at the expense of another, it will get back to the other person. If you utter an untruth about someone, they will find out as will their friends and their friends’ friends. It’s the Breck Effect (and I already told you, I am that old). If you conducted a shady business deal or screwed someone out of a commission, it will get around.

How you conduct yourself is a reflection on your personal brand as well as the company you may represent. After all, these events are business functions and many of those watching, listening and taking mental notes are colleagues or potential clients or partners – not your BFFs. Try to act as thought your grandmother were watching. Mine was a feisty old broad that loved a good scotch or two or three, but she was always classy, gracious and mannered.

Look for the ROI
Mix it up. Don’t spend all of your time with the same people at these business events. Sure, it’s great to have a core group of people whose company you enjoy, but you’re not there on vacation. Your boss is likely footing the bill in hopes that you will make more money for the company. So treat your valuable time like money, spend it wisely and invest in people that will make lucrative partners or clients. I think your boss would be happy about that. And if you’re your own boss, you’ll be pleased about the bang for your buck.

And speaking of banging…if you’re single, I’ve got nothing against a conference hookup. But often many of the same crowd is on the conference circuit and if you are seeking and finding “companionship” for one or two nights at each event, the word will get around. But, hey, I guess that could be good or bad for you, depending on your outlook.

Now don’t fear that I’ve gone all Miss Manners on you. I still know how to dish and get the dirt. If you’ve got a juicy item, some delicious dirt or just something you’d like to share, email me at TheSpider@RevenueToday.com.